The Big Pitch :: The Big Pitch is a dynamic competition where the UKs most talented, up and coming filmmakers pitch their film ideas to win the largest feature film production prize in the UK. Who wins - You decide.

Unseen Trailer

The competition's over and "Different Shades of Graham" deserved every bit of glory they got.  Not only because they had the greatest pitch ever, that was almost choreographic in nature, but also because they're some of the coolest dudes ever.

Anyhow, thought I'd write a last post to say a huge thanks for all of the support that you all gave and the extra mile you went in the last few days, and also to Moxiemakers, without whom I never would have got to meet such amazing influential producers, directors, writers, casting directors etc. And finally to the TJDUP producers, Elisabeth Pinto and Bex Hopkins, without whom this script would still be a bundling mess of gags and no story.  A lot of credit due to Lorrianne Hall (Head of Development) for this too.  Kill those babies!  This scheme has taught me so much about the process, properly got the word of TJDUP around the country, and most importantly proved to me that there should be no fear in thinking the impossible.  If you want the director of "The Inbetweeners" to direct your film, all you have to do is ask.  

Definitely got a taste for all this blogging, so will keep you updated on the progress with a new blog at Til Jihad Do Us Part, as soon as I've recovered from yesterday night... actually, the whole of last month's sleep deprivation.

Best to leave you on departure on the same way we arrived - with a video.  So here is the trailer for the film we were meant to show at the end of the pitch, but couldn't, due to my complete technical inability to save files in the correct format.  Would it have swayed the vote?  No chance - the Grahams were unbelievable.

Gordon Speaks!

Hello all

Those of you who clicked on this post thinking it was going to involve Gordon Brown commenting on the latest cut in interest rates from the Bank of England are going to be disappointed because this Gordon is in fact Gordon Anderson, our wonderful director, here to talk about what attracted him to Til Jihad Do Us Part and why he thinks it's just spiffing great.

Incidentally, Gordon's work on The Inbetweeners is up for a gong at the British Comedy Awards this Saturday where it's nominated for Best New Comedy and Simon Young (who plays Will) is nominated for Best Newcomer.

We're off to Newcastle tomorrow for what I like to call NIGHT OF THE LIVE PITCH! This is how we feel inside. We can't wait to strut our stuff, or for the £3.75 Mojitos at Popolo! Well, I can't. Shai doesn't because he's a Good Muslim Boy.

Thanks very much to everyone who took the time to check out the blog and our project, and then to register and vote, whichever project you went for. It's been great.

If you're still desperate for Mr Brown, try here or here.

Cheers
Elisabeth

 

Til Death Do We Film

For those not in the know, I went back up to Yorkshire a couple of weeks ago and spent around eight hours filming a rough trailer for our favourite romcom of 2009.  The fact that this trailer even got made in such short notice, limited supplies and crew, is short of a miracle.  Nonetheless, it's sorted and in the can, ready to be showcased in all of its glory at the event on Saturday.  

Much gratitude to Conor for getting such a talented troupe of local actors together that fit the characters perfectly, and to Sean, the greatest assistant director a filmmaker could ask for.  And not forgetting a huge thanks to the amazing Randeep for having the patience to be in character all day, Atif and Waleed for their spot-on comic timing both on and off the camera, Tanveer's effortless portrayal of a hitman and Imran Greengrass for getting hold of a camera on such short notice and waivering the production his £90 fee from the police.  Oh, and Mum for her fantastic catering services and cameo.  Scorcese's Mum better watch out.

FULL CAST AND CREW

Randeep Assi..............Meena Khatoon

Conor Alexander...... ...Sarwar Hussain

Atif Mahmood.............Frederick

Waleed Khalid.............Kaleem

Carla Starkey..............Liz

Sean Beasley..............Steven

Tanveer Aslam.............Jonathan

My Mum.....................Meena's Mum

Moobies.....................Meena's Bro

 

Director of Photography

Imran Aslam

 

Assistant Director

Sean Beasley

 

Written, Directed and Edited by Moobies

 

 

A Hussy Films / Arakan Creative Production

 

The pain behind the writing

In a shameless method to increment votes, I thought I'd share the pain that I went through to get "Til Jihad Do Us Part" to the finals of The Big Pitch.  Dramatically reenacted from the computer's point-of-view, this short film portrays the blood, sweat and cookies that have gone into the writing of this movie. 

Please prove the Marylands did not go to waste.  Vote Jihad.

**STOP PRESS** Gordon Anderson attached to direct Til Jihad Do Us Part

Fantastic news for Team Jihad* today - Gordon Anderson of The Catherine Tate Show and The Inbetweeners is now attached to direct Til Jihad Do Us Part.

Woohoo-and-indeed-hoo!

More on that to come soon...

Cheers
Elisabeth

*not coming to an Olympics near you.

Thank Allah / God / Jehova / the Gregorian Calendar It's FRIDAY

Hello everyone

It's been a busy couple of weeks of being a producer so I've been a little quiet on here - though very chatty on Twitter - and I just wanted to thank everyone who's visited the Big Pitch over the last few days and took the time to look at all the projects on here.

And since everyone knows that laughter is good for you, here's the Monty Python channel on YouTube so you can get your dose today!

 

Life of Brian is one of my top 10 favourite comedies of all time. The other 9 are, in no particular order: Some Like It Hot, A Fish Called Wanda, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, The Shop Around The Corner (All of Ernst Lubitsch's films, really), La Chevre, Le Diner de Cons, A Night at the Opera, Zoolander, I Was A Male War Bride and Look At Me.

What feature comedy would you put in your top ten?

 

Ah, l'amour...

If the emotion of "TIl Jihad Do Us Part" gets anywhere near the emotions behind these romantic scenes, I will be a happy man. Set to the song "Come Here" by Kath Bloom from the amazing film, "Before Sunrise".

PS - Please show your support (or hatred, potato-potaato) by leaving a comment.

Or if you're feeling generous, why not join the TIL JIHAD DO US PART FACEBOOK group?

Or if you really want to make the world a better place, you could always vote for us.  

Right here.  

You know it makes perfect sense.

So Team America Messed With Bridget Jones Diary and Married The Zohan

Let's get one thing straight for now - the concept for "Til Jihad Do Us Part" was inspired by the film "So I Married an Axe Murderer", which is turn was a pisstake on Hitchcock's "Suspicion".  But I was IN NO WAY aware of the existence of "Don't Mess With The Zohan".  Originality is hard to come by these days with everyone thinking up the same ideas.  If GCSEs hadn't held me back in 96 and I'd written up my script for my Asian riff on Pride and Prejudice, God knows what my version of Bride & Prejudice could have been.

The story and characters have been inspired by a range of influences which can be found at Influences behind TJDUP.  Meena is basically a British-Asian version of Bridget Jones in her search for Mr Right after a parade of loser boyfriends.  Sarwar is basically a Bollywood James Bond with a hidden secret.  The villains are straight out of Team America, whilst the main plot is a mish-mash of So I Married An Axe Murderer and Don't Mess With The Zohan but from a British-Muslim viewpoint and a slight Bollywood influence.  Mix them all together, leave to simmer, and you may just end up with the romcom to end all British romcoms.  Maybe.

Nonetheless, on a darker note, the real inspiration for TJDUP came from the multitude of newspaper and media articles increasing in number since 9/11 on Islamic terrorists, Muslim maniacs and Mohammaden moaners (their words, not mine).  The very word "Muslim" brought chills down the public's back.  The world had reached such a disturbing level of Islamaphobia that even Muslims were afraid to be around other Muslims, in case that their reputations were tarnished in hanging around with the scarved or bearded ones.  The funniest Islamaphobic articles ever can be found at the website Jihadwatch, whilst the responses to the following "Is comedy scared of offending Islam" show on BBC Radio 4 give a good example of the ignorance that is still rife in society today.

Even in today's media, with a few exceptions, British Muslims are rarely shown as complex characters, more often portrayed as either extreme fundamentalists, righteous religious pacifists or rebellious westernised rejects.  I wanted to create a comedy script that depicted Muslims with the same faults and flaws as any other human being, much like the people that I know.  Nonetheless, though there is a very subtle political statement of sometimes going overboard with suspicion, the main basic theme of the story is a relationship between two people, marriage at that, which cannot function without the simple ingredient of trust.

Anyhow, away from seriousness blahblah, this film in its entirety is a romcom.  In the words of producer Elisabeth Pinto:

You'll laugh.  You'll cry.  You'll fancy a curry.

Bush's Daddy Issues

If any of you have seen Oliver Stone's "W" at the cinema recently, you may have seen Dubya's more sympathetic side.  However, it needs to be asked - is the destruction he wrought on the world really down to Bush's attempts to prove to his father that he is worthy of Sr's attention?  

Take it away, Austin...

Bollywood is sooo melodramatic, yaar

It's a common perception that all Bollywood films are exactly the same - overly melodramatic rip-offs of "Romeo and Juliet".  Though it is true that there are many an Indian film about lovers separated by caste, religion, status, money, nationality, having a history of killing each other's relatives etc. the past 15 years has given rise to highly original, complex and downright entertaining products that people in the West are hugely missing out on by ignoring them.  Yes, melodrama still exists in bucketloads, but spun in the right way, the films will pull your heartstrings ten times as strongly as any Richard Curtis film.  So for now, here are my recommendations for all you lovers out there (English subs).  Altogether now: Earth angel, earth angel...

 

• Unseen Trailer
• Gordon Speaks!
• Til Death Do We Film
• The pain behind the writing
• **STOP PRESS** Gordon Anderson attached to direct Til Jihad Do Us Part
• Thank Allah / God / Jehova / the Gregorian Calendar It's FRIDAY
• Ah, l'amour...
• So Team America Messed With Bridget Jones Diary and Married The Zohan
• Bush's Daddy Issues
• Bollywood is sooo melodramatic, yaar