The Big Pitch :: Right. So now you’ve heard the Jew rabbit on about world peace it’s time for a reality check. From the only reliable narrator in this story. I’m Arnab - David’s only real friend and work colleague and in case y... View page for full story

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It’s December 20th 2012 and according to the ancient Mayans the world is about to end. And in Britain the apocalypse seems nigh: every foreign athlete, dignitary and tourist claimed Asylum after the Olympics; all meat has been banned following cow flu and the leaders of the 12 world religions have gone missing in Scotland. When our hero, eternal optimist David Gomez Goldman, is summoned to a high security Asylum centre little does he know that he will become the world's only hope of survival.

HEY THIS FILM IS ALSO ABOUT ME!

Posted 3/11/2008 at 10:21 by Gary | View all posts

Right. So now you’ve heard the Jew rabbit on about world peace it’s time for a reality check. From the only reliable narrator in this story. I’m Arnab - David’s only real friend and work colleague and in case you’re wondering I’m a gay Canadian Indian. Which means I’m like a triple word score for a Scrabble playing Nazi. I’m not gonna lie – my favourite two things on this planet are hard drugs and hard cocks. And particularly at the same time. Personally I don’t know how or why anyone would try and live without them. I mean reality’s not only overrated but it’s entirely possible now it doesn’t even exist. According to my quantum freak Dad we live in a holographic delusion so I decided long ago to use sex and drugs as my trap door into better, safer places.

It won’t surprise you I’m quite a fan of the whole drug alphabet but if I had to name my Top 3 then that’d have to be K, E and DMT. And if you don’t know what all 3 are then it’s unlikely you and I will be meeting (or fucking) in the near future. David always says: ‘You use drugs to escape’ and I always say: ‘What’s wrong with escape if you’re in prison’. Besides which, he’s addicted to ‘America’s Next Top Model’ and you can’t honestly tell me that Ketamine’s more harmful to the brain than Tyra Banks.


Our job is brain numbingly dull but it provides a steady paycheck and no boss breathing down our necks. We mount our hybrid electric-gas steed every morning, I spark up a spliff and we service your power points whilst dreaming of the Devil finally arriving and fucking us into Kingdom Come!

Speak soon lovely people!

Arnab

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